Polygamy

[BalrogLord]

What is everyone's thoughts on this subject and why. This discussion is a much about polygyny (several wives) as much as it is about polyandry (several husbands).

[TW501]

I personally am opposed to it. I suppose it would be fine for polygamous relationships among consenting adults, but state-recognized polygamous marriage simply does not seem feasible. The way civil marriages work and the benefits they provide simply are not compatible with polygamous relationships. One could also make the argument that it could lead to marginalization of women, and possibly even put them at higher risk for abuse.

[Kairen]

There are cultures where one is allowed to have only one wife, other cultures where people are allowed to have several wives. I'm not particularly against either view considering it doesn't affect me, but I'm against having two wives for myself. First off, it's against my honor code to even consider dating multiple girls, much less marry both. The main reason for this is because I would be jealous if I knew the girl I'm going out with is also going out with other guys, so it is fair for me not to do the same. If I knew one girl had feelings for me and trusted me, I would be betraying those feelings and playing around with her trust like it's meaningless if I went out with someone else.

[lurch]

Depends on the women .... how submissive or high maintenance are they?

but seriously :
Some situations are more cult like and push them into it while they are still naive or force them into it in various ways like slave sales.
(note these are just my random opinions I have not gathered all the info to make a full opinion on the matter)

[blunt_smoker_420]

I agree, I don't see how any self respecting girl would want to be a second or third wife. The only way that this could happen is if when they are children they are made to believe that's the way you have to live. Even so I think it's morally wrong.

[Rollingstar]

I don't see how any girl wants to be a 3rd wife, we're already jealous bitches as it is.

[Fatstogey]

I don't see how any girl wants to be a 3rd wife, we're already jealous bitches as it is.

The 3rd wife cant also love the 1st and 2nd wife? It doesnt all have to be about the man.

I think its a personal issue. Its not anyones business to say whether they can or not. However deciding ht legalities is another thing. Although i think it should be allowed as it is the peoples personal choice.

I wouldnt cheat on my wife or girlfriend. However if i had 2 wifes who where both in love with me and in love with each other? I say we all three win. I think its very archaic for people to think you can only love 1 person. And the very same people who loved different people at different times. But love 2 at the same time, no way thats not possible.
Why not?

As far as sex with 2 girls? Yea sure thats some dream all guys have. So its demonized as nefarious sexual activity. Its a fantasy adn its not supposed to be real. Why not? If your married to 2 or 3 women the fantasy stops being a fantasy and becomes just as normal as having sex with 1 person. I dont see a rpboelm with it. Its a personal choice and people should be free to make it and should be recognized as such.

I know we got a lot of religious cooks, and even those who are cooks who still cant let it go. If they dont wanna have them called married then make up another word that means married.
Union between 1 or more males and 2 or more females, or vice versa, is a Parriage. Same rights as a married couple in the eyes of the law.

Wow lol. I just came up with that and i looked it up and thats what some wanna call gay marriage. IDK i think all three should just be marriage. But name the later 2 Parriage and those who are in that category just accept it and move on. Give em same legal rights but call it something else.

Then lets move on cause we have much more important issues to be worried about than what people do in their personal lives. WE hve social problems to be worried about.

While i agree it should all be called marriage. But we have more important things to worry about. Those who wanna be called married and cant be need to make some concessions and forget about it. So we can concentrate on more important issues.

[Wras]

Source: http://www.islamfortoday.com/polygamy6.htm

The benefits polygamy has for women and the controls it places on men.
By Samuel Chapman

Benefits For Women
Automatic childcare in a sexist society gives women more effective choice to have a career without devaluing the role of homemaker. Being able to marry men who are already married means that women can marry men who have already proved themselves, therefore minimising their risk.

Being able to marry the men who attract most women means they don't have to settle just for what's left after other women have the best pickings.

Having the possibility that a husband can remarry without divorce extends practical security to a woman. She needn't worry about losing her husband and income as she loses her looks, because if her husband is attracted by a younger woman, he doesn't even have to think about leaving his wife.

Polygamy removes the pressure on a husband to commit adultery, and removes damaging deceit from a marriage.

Polygamy provides a method where a woman can have a female friend for life as well as a husband.

Polygamy therefore provides more people and a better chance of meeting diverse needs.

Polygamy provides a potential for at least three adult incomes, reducing state dependence and the fear of unemployment.

Controls Placed On Men
If a man wants to have another sexual partner in a polygamous system then he has to meet his responsibilities - pay for any children produced from all his relationships without priority being given to those from a 'legal' relationship. Polygamy removes or reduces the seduction of innocent young women - If a man promises to marry her, he cannot use his existing marriage as an excuse for not fulfilling a promise.

Polygamy reduces the number of women who are available. Currently, with more women than men, this 'cheapens' women. With less women available their 'value' goes up. In other words, polygamy makes men have to try harder and do better with women if they are to win them in competition with other men.

Taken from, you guessed it, polygamy.com.

edit: I don't see how a woman would be at more risk for abuse when the man would be outnumbered 5 to 1.

[dyne]

how would that work legally...i mean if someone married someone and then they married someone else and then one of them gets a divorce does the one that gets a divorce get half of what the guy owns or is is 1/3..etc i mean this would just complicate the hell out of divorces

[btill9000]

how would that work legally...i mean if someone married someone and then they married someone else and then one of them gets a divorce does the one that gets a divorce get half of what the guy owns or is is 1/3..etc i mean this would just complicate the hell out of divorces

We could just do away with the whole idiotic concept of women getting to take a guy's stuff when they get a divorce.

[Vasumati]

I would support this if it was only looked at on a case by case basis. There are people out there who can genually love more than one person at the same time. And those people that they love could really be OK or even enjoy having their significant other married to multipul people. These cases are few and far inbetween. There are alot of people who would gladly abuse this system. If the government treated each case seperatly this would be prevented. Three or more consenting adults could live happy lives together. Every party involved must be 100% alright with the decision though.

btill9000: What makes you think that women always take from the man in a divorce? When my parents got divorced my dad didn't lose a damn thing and my mom lost half her stuff including half of her retirement shed collected over 25 years.

[Fatstogey]

how would that work legally...i mean if someone married someone and then they married someone else and then one of them gets a divorce does the one that gets a divorce get half of what the guy owns or is is 1/3..etc i mean this would just complicate the hell out of divorces

Naw it would have to be 1/3. They are only 1/3 of the partnership. So they should get 33% of the partnerships gain or loss in net worth.

Just like i think woman should only be allowed half of any net gain after the marriage. If a guy is worth 1 million before hes married and 2 million when he divorces she should get 500,000 not 1 million. Although i think it should be 50% if the woman fathered children and only 30% if not. But only on assests gained during the course of the marriage. Whatever you have before is yours and was earned before her and she should have no rights to it.

[btill9000]

Just like i think woman should only be allowed half of any net gain after the marriage. If a guy is worth 1 million before hes married and 2 million when he divorces she should get 500,000 not 1 million. Although i think it should be 50% if the woman fathered children and only 30% if not. But only on assests gained during the course of the marriage. Whatever you have before is yours and was earned before her and she should have no rights to it.

Why^? At best, the guy should be forced to take care of any children he's fathered. I don't get why he should be forced to take care of the woman though.

[loveusender]

I personally am opposed to it. People get pissed off just to the idea of cheating and to just think that you're sharing your husband with someone else is outrageous!. Having sex with someone else, it makes things churn in your mind to do to that other wife. The only problem is you cant get out of it.

[btill9000]

btill9000: What makes you think that women always take from the man in a divorce? When my parents got divorced my dad didn't lose a damn thing and my mom lost half her stuff including half of her retirement shed collected over 25 years.
The majority of the time it is the women that do this. However, what I said applies to men as well. People that worked for something should not have to give it up to anyone, other than taking care of their kids.

[kirthi_abcd]

Polygamy is good if its consensual :)

[BalrogLord]

Alright well i have to say i am against it. one of the reasons is the following:

there are 120men to 100 women in china. now China has a population of a few billion. Thats millions of men without a wife, family and a general stake in society. These men are more likely to join gangs, to commit crimes and even to rebbel at the slightest excuse.
The women go to all the rich men, increasing the gap between those distinct social classes, causing strife and conflict. When this generation matures more china is gona have so many social issues its not even funny. Its not gona be in any position to be a threat to anyone but itself. Look at the Nien rebbellion of 1850~ for an example of this.
(from another thread)

This is my main deal with it. And while true in polygamy theres is polygyny and polyandry, the former happens alot more.

[Goroth]

For me, I would refuse to have more than one. However, if people wish to do so, I have no problemo. The only thing I'm worried about them is feeding more mouths. Besides, this would not work for them romantic, swan-love etc types... but seriously, this would be different on different situations, the Arabs can afford and their tradition has no restrictions against it. While for average Asian person like me, it would be both taboo and financially devastating.

[dyne]

Naw it would have to be 1/3. They are only 1/3 of the partnership. So they should get 33% of the partnerships gain or loss in net worth.

Just like i think woman should only be allowed half of any net gain after the marriage. If a guy is worth 1 million before hes married and 2 million when he divorces she should get 500,000 not 1 million. Although i think it should be 50% if the woman fathered children and only 30% if not. But only on assests gained during the course of the marriage. Whatever you have before is yours and was earned before her and she should have no rights to it.

....if you marry someone and they are worth 1million dollars then that person marries again...and again. I can see very easily the first married person would be saying i want 50% thats what i married into..etc

and whats stopping someone from then getting married again without the consent of the other.

[AfterExile]

Ah polygamy... the only people doing it are mormons, airplane pilots(multiple wives in different citys) and of course back wood country hicks... I dont asociate with any of those groups so as long as they keep to themselves I really dont think its bothering anyone..

I Still feel sorry for the kids who grow up in those situations, how shitty would it be to find out you have a whole other family related to you through one of your parents..

[I8ASaleen]

"Hey Ichabod go tell (Mom 2) that if she doesn't have that deer hide ready by the time dinners on then (Mom 1) is going to be pissed and tell (Mom 3) not to let her have frolickin' priveleges for a week" Seems real sensible to me..........................:suspicious:

[budcalvert]

There are cultures where one is allowed to have only one wife, other cultures where people are allowed to have several wives. I'm not particularly against either view considering it doesn't affect me, but I'm against having two wives for myself. First off, it's against my honor code to even consider dating multiple girls, much less marry both. The main reason for this is because I would be jealous if I knew the girl I'm going out with is also going out with other guys, so it is fair for me not to do the same. If I knew one girl had feelings for me and trusted me, I would be betraying those feelings and playing around with her trust like it's meaningless if I went out with someone else.

I think that the Relationships last long only if there is the Trust between the couple. According to me, both should be loyal to one another.

[arthur11]

To be realistic.....dealing with two or more menstrual cycles in a month? A dreams a dream if you know what im saying.

The guy would have to be a mad/unattached = bad husband or the women would be so submissive/quiet that they would be pretty boring wives.

In the off chance that you had two women who also loved each other as well as you, you would be pretty goddamn lucky and it would be insanly good. But you would have to be clear that you loved and found these women attracive in whatever shape or form they were in as to not promote stressful competition between the two; this is hard enough with one woman and usually a lie.

Tbh, if you seeked to have more than one wife in the first place it doesnt show much contentmant with the first so you might as well get a divorce, Polygamy is purely financial and a means of prosperity for women in poor male dominated cultures.

Overall 'Yes' for the sex, 'No' for the responsibility and stress. 3 words, Sex without marriage, there are easier ways to have fun without this over extra marriage milarcky..

[ismey]

one partner should be enough imo.....but they will always be polygamy somewhere......

[Yexley]

Up to whoever's involved whether they want to, their problem if it goes wrong.

[nasandre]

^I agree.

If they're happy with it, fine.

[Yachiru7979]

^Yeah but who would be happy with it? And i'm not refering to the man who will be married to 2 women, but to the women actually (or vice versa). I'd personally feel like i have no importance at all in the family.

"Hey Ichabod go tell (Mom 2) that if she doesn't have that deer hide ready by the time dinners on then (Mom 1) is going to be pissed and tell (Mom 3) not to let her have frolickin' priveleges for a week" Seems real sensible to me..........................:suspicious:

Ditto.

[EijiTakayama]

From a natural/scientific angle, polygamy is justified. A female can only carry a limited number of children at a time, whereas there is no limit to the number of females a male can impregnate.

If you look at life in the wild or even among humans a few thousand years back, lives spans were short, and newborns died easily. The more females giving birth, the greater the chances of enough progeny surviving to keep keep the family/species going. That's the root of polygamy.

However, among humans in the modern era, when polygamy is more about legal and social matters than about the continuity of life, I think it should be banned completely. We're civilized now. We don't do more than half the things our ancestors used to do, whether it's for survival or otherwise. They didn't have computers to do everything for them, nor did they have fast food. Where we've changed the norms so much to our liking, even though it's proving to bad for us, can't we get rid of some more norms and become properly civilized?

Those who support polygamy have a primitive mindset and should be thrown in the wild for enjoying nature in its entirely. They can't have the best of nature as well science.

[Kusanagi]

I have a neutral stance on polygamy, though I myself don't practice it. I think that humans are made for polygamy. There are the points that Eiji said, with males being able to impregnate as many women as they can contact being an example. Also, the emotions that run during relationships also support this in a way. The passion in the beginning could fuel the "baby-making", and the calm affection after a few years can help keep the male around to support his child. All the cheating and divorces going on could be a result of human instinct to mate with several partners. We do have a year round mating season, after all.