The Cynical Blog of Ben.
This time I'd like to talk about jeeps(and their drivers). Jeep drivers are pathetic. If you are a man, and women laugh from you in bed, in public showers you only shower with undies, you don't go to saunas and you want everyone to know about your small dick - buy a jeep. If you are a woman and you married a man with a small dick, he will definitely buy you a jeep. And a boobjob.
If you are a young woman an you work as an "escort"(the same prostitute, but more expensive), you totally need to drive a jeep.
1. RULES DISAPPEAR. You're with a jeep, who's gonna say anything?
2. A big car hides all your lackings. Personality, intellect, looks... all of them.
3. Jeep is good for a drive around the city. Country roads just dirty your tires.
4. People think that you have a house out of town.
5. You can park wherever you want, no one dares to impound your ass.
6. The police won't stop you. They hate being looked down upon.
7. You can act like an idiot on the road. Everyone's afraid of you.
8. It's safe. Children are very safe in the backseat(except when break their heads trying to get out of the car).
9. It shows your opinion about global warming.
10. Other men are smiling while looking at your car(they're just happy that they have bigger dicks than yours(srs bzns).
1. It eats a LOT of gas. For the price of driving around for a month you can raise a great wedding in Romania.
2. When it's parked in your back yard, it can block the view of your great house.
3. Half-blind people confuse it with a kiosk. They come and try to buy beer and cigarettes.
4. If it's not the newest, it looks like crap.
5. If you're on a road trip and you jeep suddenly broke down - you're fucked. No one's gonna even think about helping you.
6. If you live in Africa, be careful of hippopotamuses. They will try to have sex with your car.
7. Homeless people try to get warm under your car hood.
8. If you accidentally crash it, it's gonna be a huge mental breakdown. You're probably gonna have to visit the psychiatrist...
9. You haven't finished paying back the loan you took to buy the jeep...
I'll let you all think of a tenth minus.
Total Comments 7
|Posted 08-09-2010 at 11:32 AM by airyie|
|Posted 08-09-2010 at 12:41 PM by benassi-x|
|Posted 08-10-2010 at 06:47 AM by Razvan Asakura|
|Posted 08-10-2010 at 08:41 AM by benassi-x|
|Posted 08-10-2010 at 09:08 PM by Vic|
|Posted 08-18-2010 at 12:42 PM by greg770|
|Posted 08-19-2010 at 04:03 AM by benassi-x|
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